Goggling at Glasses

I've been looking for new glasses. Mine are what you might call 'retro', 'vintage', 'classic'. They're more of the secretary or librarian school than off the catwalk, but they do the job, and hey, it's not like I have to look at them. Still, they're starting to go a tad flaky round the edges and contact lenses make me look like I'm been smoking something pretty strong when I've been glued to the computer for several hours.

This all running through my mind, I popped into Specsavers to have a look at the frames. You know the sort that are fashionable at the moment: big, dark frames, quite rectangular, there to be noticed and, unfortunately, completely and utterly incompatible with my head. The assistant was very helpful and tried all sorts on me, shaking her head in despair and slight astonishment that I could be so incredibly unsuited to them. She tried her best, but to no avail. Frameless glasses were suggested, and Specsavers in Oxford at least have a pretty good range of them. But aren't they flimsy! My specs go through a fair amount of abuse, so I'm reluctant to spend £150 on some pretty things that can only be seen if you look at the right angle.

The assistant reassured me that they had a two for one offer on, so if I wasn't sure, I could get two frames for different occasions. Fantastic - two frames that don't suit me.

I tried kids' frames, designer frames, value frames, even some grannyish glasses, all to no end.

I think I'll just stick with blinking fuzzily at anything more than a few metres away - who needs to see all the cracks and blemishes when the softly blurred outlines are so much prettier anyway!